i stared death in it's face.

31 days ago, I stared death in it's face. I did not pass it by, or hear it whisper, I looked at it, I stared and it hit me...Death ain't quiet no matter how peacefully it comes to get you. Death does this thing, where it hits us all, it does not ask how you lived nor does it care, it just claims. And it is on the 25th of November 2013 I realised death does not care if you rich or poor, black or white, a freak or a bookworm, DEATH IS FOR US ALL. It does not discriminate, it takes and does not give back.

I walked into the hospital room and saw you, but this time around you weren't you. You were quiet, cold and looked different. It was in the air, but the machines fooled us and the nurses deceived us, we believed you were still around. What I saw that day keeps flashing before me, the blue on the soles of your feet, the swelling, the stillness, that smell, I don't think that was really you. I made a call with tears running down my face, I knew it. I knew you left.

I stared death in it's face and I pray no one ever has to leave that way. It was cruel and unkind. Sad.


May your soul Rest in Eternal Peace...Eleanor Uricke Diergaardt

it is so obvious how you are summer and I am winter...
your ebony coating touching my ivory shell, your playful nature and my deep passion, your height towering over me, as I try and balance on my tippie toes just to reach you.
There is nothing wrong with summer, oh NO!, the birds chirping, the fresh hot air, the late nights and early mornings, the cool smoothers and the light drizzles, the shorts and parties, the wild flowers and the bright colours. But, then winter comes and steals summers shine, the cold is deep and the nights are long. The air is heated with a certain chill and lovers love, yes I am that winter. That silent cry to be loved and you are those wings that need a home. I don't get how summers can live without winters, without that warm embrace, that warm chocolate running smoothly down your throat, the heat creeping through the blankets...
There is so much that you are that I will never be.
There is so much that brings us together and even more that keeps us apart.
There is so much to say but words always go unspoken.
see you are summer and I am a forever winter...
                       

I aspire to inspire before I expire, and, you have given me the opportunity to do so... I am not a teacher, I am an awakener, and for the this I am forever thankful.
I may have been an ostranenie but you have taught me about patience and words. About fun and seizing moments together, because all we will have left are memories apart. Thank you for your time and dedication to ART, there are true artist among all of you. Go on and live, let art reside in you even long after I may have left you.
xoxo

                                      PEACE. LOVE. ART.

PEACE.     when chaos lives calmly in you. 

               where your heart finds its home.    

               when we put our problems in Gods hands.

               love & compassion.

               something you make, something you do.

               something you are & something you give away.

               training your brain to process life as it is.

               war is never the answer, nor is anger.

               peace is my weapon.

               let go & let God.

               raindrops & sleep.

               ...go where peace is.

LOVE.    love is EVERYTHING...

             ... & nothing at all.

ART.    I am art.

          art is life. life is art. 

          nothing exists without art.

          art is freedom.

          art is love and peace. :-)

          art is when you hear your soul cry and you give it a listen.

          art remains the purest and realest activity to mankind.

          art is resistance.

          art is hope.

pain...
I woke up this morning in pain, but I am more than thankful that I got to see another day. 
Pain so intense that I would not even wish it on an enemy if I had any, pain so intense that words could never describe it. I have realised pain is temporary, and that means I need to GET UP no matter how sick I am or in what kind of pain I am. Because excuses never gets anything done, so I got up and went to work, dragged my body to adhere to my mind. It's mind over matter always...no matter what, it is mind over matter. My mind was present and I forced my body to be too, and I made it through the day. 4 days ago I made up my mind to complain less and just be thankful, most probably the hardest task, yet I am slowly learning and appreciating. For every storm there is a rainbow. I GET UP!!!! see that's life, you have to do what you have to do, in order to do what you want to do. It's that simple just GET UP.... your pain won't get things done and there is plenty of time to rest at the end of the day. Tonight I might go to bed in pain, but I will be grateful that  I have a bed to go to.

....WORDS LOVE & MAYBE CHOCOLATE...

Hi, my name is Fallon & I’m an addict…. :-)

I’m addicted to language …see. I’m addicted to words and poetry. I’m addicted to reading, just as much as I’m addicted to books, yes; I collect books, just like I collect shoes. Shoes that I do not wear. I’m addicted to buying on impulse, just so that I have what I do not need.

 I’m addicted to cheese & milk, because I feel brave knowing I am allergic. I’m addicted to tea…vanilla chai, pickwick, organic, mint, jasmine and my favourite GREEN. I’m addicted to cakes, especially the 1s that are actually tarts. I’m addicted to chocolate. Milka, Astro’s, Tempo, Aero, Rafello & Bon Bons. Don’t you dare forget the Bar1 milkshakes.

I’m addicted to ART because nothing compares to its freedom. poetry, paint, fashion, motion, music …passion all together. I’m sooo addicted; I make a living out of it.

I am an addict, YES, an addict & this is my confession….

I’m addicted to LOVE.

See love is my worst favourite addiction. It’s temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. J  It’s always too little, and I need, I want & I crave more. I crave it in the most innocent form. It’s the 1 addiction I can’t seem to get under control. Love fills me up and then deprives me; it’s the only thing I know how to do WRONG and maybe RIGHT. It’s like not having what you want, but wanting what you have. Like the moment I open myself up, knowing I might get hurt, but the good is sooo good, that I forget pain has ever existed. I’m addicted to the next 30 seconds, cause I might see you, and I’m all nervous, blushing and I have this thing they call butterflies.  I’m addicted to those butterflies, the sweaty palms the right eye winks and the aaaaahhhh moments... I’m addicted to LOVE.

See love has me addicted in ways I never thought possible. So addicted…that the 1^st person I loved is still the only person I love…I’m addicted to YOU…

I’m addicted to your forehead kisses as you wipe away my tears again and call me Beautiful. I’m addicted to you, introducing me as your wife. I’m addicted to the shy you, as your friends make fun of you, cause you INLOVE.  I’m addicted to 4 years from now, as we’ll walk down the aisle, maybe have us some ebony and ivory babies.  I’m addicted to the stares just cause I’m the TOP & you the DECK. I’m addicted to your EARS, the cartridge is so soft and it bends and twists in my fingers. I’m addicted to your bad habits, the nail biting, the temporary lies and you never finishing your food. I’m addicted to the drunk you and the elevated you. I’m addicted to your morning breath. I’m addicted to your warmth, as you hold me while we sleep as if your life depends on it. I’m addicted to our MILO & ROMARY CREAM late nights.  I’m addicted to RUSSIA, almost as much as I’m addicted to SHIKULO.  I’m addicted to the thought of you even if its 9132 km’s away.  I’m addicted to the  21^st  of May. I’m addicted to YOU.

See this addiction has me all CRAZY, HALLUCINATING again. I’m addicted to LOVE.

I’m addicted to being different cause who the hell wants to be normal. I’m addicted to growing my hair out & shaving it all off again, knowing I have good genes. I’m addicted to orange juice, cause no one ever likes it & that way I don’t have to share. I’m addicted to pain, yes I am WEIRD, it is kinda  addictive having needles pierce through your skin leaving permanent marks. I’m addicted to black, cause I know no colour darker. I’m addicted to staying home and studying, because I fear failure. I’m addicted to long hours of unconsciousness called sleep. I am not addicted to texting, NO, I am addicted to texting you. I’m addicted to the NOTEBOOK. P.S.I LOVE YOU &DEAR JOHN. I’m addicted to LOVE.

Yes, I am an addict & this was my confession. Hi, my name is Fallon.

welcome to my world of eclectic UNKNOWNS

my first ever (official ) blog post and I have a creative/writers block...think this is long overdue and I will commit to this as long as I commit to breathing. Strange thing is, I won't know if anyone will read this, guess that's the fun part, sharing my ...eclectic UNKNOWNS... with the world.