This is my current state

Drowning deeper 

with each passing day.

Existence by default.

Pleasure and excitement are nonexistent.

Numb and lame to what others call life.

Existence by default.

Head hardly above water, drenched in what once was.

Calmest war inside, counter attacking.

Trying.  Barely.

Drowning deeper

with each moon lit night.

Silence has become me and I her.

Trying. Barely.

Walking around, head held high but heart full of turmoil.

Uncertain. Unsure. 

Comfort is found where it has always belonged.

Books. Art. Tea. 

Seeking ways to get the hours to move faster.

Pity and doubt are suddenly best friends.

You dont know until it hits you

and it hits you hard.

Uncertain. Unsure.

Like a blow to existence, it smashes you down.

deeper than you have ever been.

it hurts a little.

Drowning deeper.